December 2, 2011

Oh the Drama of it All!

It's over.  My love affair with fcaebook fell off of a cliff. I'm ready to campaign for my friends to move over to Goggle + so I still have a digital social life without having to deal with really random drama.  Want the soap opera style dish?  You know?  Just so it doesn't happen to you?

Yesterday I posted that I had apple pie in the oven.  Innocent enough.  Yes?  Then my apple pie post had a comment from a friend's husband calling someone I've never heard of "stupid" for "hating farmers and calling them murderers."  What in the world???   I was totally confused.  I replied that I had no idea what he was talking about, but that calling this person stupid in public was probably the worst way ever to get them to appreciate farmers.  Did I mention that I had NO CLUE what was going on?

This morning I woke up to an e-mail from the angry farmer defender saying that he was responding to my friend, we'll call her Jane Doe, who made an "ignorant comment" on my post about Obama.  What?  I've never posted about Obama.  Have I been hacked???  I was even more confused.  Oh, acquaintance had posted a link about new child labor concerns on farms.  Did that have something to do with Obama?  I didn't know because I hadn't even read the actual link.  But even so, he had no way of knowing the Oregon acquaintance, so he couldn't have seen her link.  Right?

Wrong.  When I commented on her link, I guess it appeared in his feed and he automatically assumed that I knew everyone who commented on it because it looked to him like I had posted it.  When he couldn't call out the girl who offended him directly on the post, he decided to tell her off on my apple pie post, assuming that the girl would see it there. 

This whole weird experience taught me a few things:

~People are way too concerned about what complete strangers think and far to quick to get offended.  Note to self:  Never get worked up about complete strangers' mindless comments on fb.

~Maybe I should not only consider whether someone is "safe" when I approve their virtual friendship, but also their temperament.  I certainly don't want drama from across the continent to irritate me from afar.  And I don't really care for my apple pie to become a source of hate speech.  Ya know?  It reflects poorly on my pie.  I make a very kind and peaceful pie. 

~The ambiguity about who posts things could really misconstrue what I believe in or support.  Ya know?  I mean, if this guy thinks I'm posting about Obama, he's really got no idea where I stand on things.  If other people's ideals can so easily become confused with my own, I've lost a little bit of my real identity. 

~I have been less than enthusiastic about Google + only because so few friends are there and there's not as much dialogue as there is on facebook.  But maybe fewer people, more carefully selected, is better than a lot of people who are chatting just to pass time.  Quality over quantity, ya know?

I love blogging because I know mostly who reads and I am also aware that strangers will read from time to time, so I choose my words carefully (unless I'm blogging sleepy, which is always a bad idea).  I watch my stats closely, I've learned how to protect my photos, how to trace where links are coming from, where content goes, etc.  I loved facebook even a little more because it felt even safer because I could approve who would and would not read what I wrote.  I could speak a little more carelessly because I knew I was among friends.  But that was a bit of an illusion.  This little incident has caused me to realize that complete strangers can read what I type, and friends can mistake other people's posts for my own.  Perhaps + being more private is an illusion also, but I'm sure people more in the know than myself are about to weigh in.  For now, I'm heading that direction.  I'll choose friends more carefully and try to minimize the drama.  I have 3 kids, after all, so we're all stocked up on drama.  So if I know you and love you, come find me on + so we can keep hanging out!

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